Anonymous asked: How did you discover you liked girls
i looked at a girl and i was like nice
so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums.
"Most girls that like snakes and weird animals are ugly" pardon me while I put my snake on my face to demonstrate the several fucks that none of us give
Allow me to join you with my snake scarf and lack of fucks
I don’t think I’d have a face left if I did what you guys were doing, but I want to play anyway.
don’t give even one tiny little fuck
NEIGH HOY MENOY
I was gonna reblog this either way but that last one made me want to reblog it even more
an angel girl who’s girlfriend is a demon and at first they don’t want anybody to know but then god is like “my child do not worry about it it’s , as the kids are saying these days, “what ever”’ but satan is like “do I know this girl. let me meet her. is she a bad influence?” “dad she’s an angel” “damn I was really hoping she would be a bad influence”